Gil-galad is an Elven Chad: An Ode to the Leaks

Gil-galad is an Elven Chad

Gil-galad is an Elven Chad
But Celebrimbor makes them mad
Digesting leaks from Amazon
Of Isildur and Pharazôn.

The hair is short? The knives are keen.
The beardless face of Dwarven Queen?
With meteor and man-not-named
The fandom temper is inflamed.

Of Annatar we have not heard
Or Teleporno (name absurd)
Galadriel is on the poster
(Still the gleeful critics roast her)

But for September must we wait
To learn of Rings of Power's fate
An awful flop it might well be
But can we please just wait and see?

5 thoughts on “Gil-galad is an Elven Chad: An Ode to the Leaks

  1. Related note: I’ve always had an affection for the Fall of Gil-Galad poem, it really evokes a sorrowfulness about the history of Middle-Earth, and that whole chapter really just captures the mood & history of the setting really well.

    Interestingly, GRRM cited this as the moment Tolkien had him sold. The poem gave him a chill the way the other fantasy writers he’d been reading, such as Howard, never had.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And yet, a common refrain when discussing TLotR is to complain about the poems or claim they should be skipped. It is a little saddening. Tolkien was not an extraordinary poet, but he was a competent one, and his verse complements his prose quite well. But then I’m a bit of a neoformalist, so I’d much rather read Tolkien than most 21st century poetry.

      Liked by 4 people

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