The Chronicles of Kregsmal and Krunch: Volume III

Another update from the ongoing D&D campaign…

Session 5:

Before starting this session, the DM announced that he had got his hands on an actual Iron Kingdoms in Fifth Edition guide, so there was a bit of re-jigging of character stats. Here are Kregsmal’s amended ones:

  • STR: 19
  • DEX: 12
  • CON: 17
  • INT: 8
  • WIS: 8
  • CHA: 14

Since Kregsmal uses unarmoured defence (fighting in his precious silk shirts), this boosted his AC from 12 to a healthier 14.

This session was generic downtime, and silliness. Kregsmal headed off to the tavern, and got plastered on their bulk-discount ale. Even with his decent Constitution, he was left singing a certain song about goblins, in honour of our party Alchemist:

(Kregsmal is too uncultured to quote Rossetti’s Goblin Market:

“We must not look at Goblin Men. We must not buy their fruit. Who knows upon what soil they fed their hungry thirsty roots.”

But Blackadder? Sure).

And then our Barbarian ran into problems. You see, back out on the street, the Alchemist obligingly gave him a restorative to sober him up. Which it did. Problem is, Kregsmal now thought that the alcohol had been purged from his system… so he thought it’d be fine if he headed off to an opium den, to partake in his other major vice…

Mixing opiates and alcohol is not smart. Not smart at all.

Kregsmal spent the rest of the session having a truly terrible trip, to a degree where he needed medical attention.

  • KREGSMAL “Krunch hates me….” (vomiting noise).

But that wasn’t quite the silliest character incident this session. Grinder, our 5 INT Bard, wandered off into the city alone, continually failing every check on locating himself. He was trying to get to the docks, only to end up at the arena instead… where he (and he alone) witnessed a truly incredible fight to the death between three lions and an Ogron. Seriously, out of game, it had the players on the edge of their seats. It was that good – and wound up being a spectacular double kill.

Grinder then managed to fall into the city sewers – he was failing every skill check imaginable – and got accosted by an alligator man.

Session 6

Grinder somehow got out of that mess, and made his way back to the company. Meanwhile, Kregsmal woke up on the floor of the Alchemist’s shop, with a hangover and… pointy ears?

This was disturbing. This was very disturbing. Kregsmal decided that he must have been cursed, and headed over to the Temple of Mennoth to asks the Priests about it. Grinder went along too… because why not.

Eventually, the Priest informed Kregsmal that this was not a curse. Rather it was a strange blessing from another god. But since Mennoth acknowledges other gods, this wasn’t a problem. Kregsmal is still worried though… he doesn’t think he’s worthy of Mennoth, and this wasn’t helping.

Back outside, Kregsmal and Grinder alluded to each other’s god as being the “wrong one.” Cue Grinder – a Bard – slapping Kregsmal. Kregsmal is a Barbarian, of course, and could have done copious damage to the fellow, but contented himself with trying to shove the idiot to the ground. He intended to sit on him until he apologised. Except that he was interrupted by a town guard, who put the pair in the stocks for public disturbance. Kregsmal accepted this (“no pain is unendurable in the name of Mennoth”), but Grinder earned himself an additional stay with his unique stupidity.

Lucian, the mad tortured Elf, bought a bucket of smelly offal, and left it next to the stocks as a means of adding odour to injury. Lovely.

While Grinder and Kregsmal were otherwise occupied, Lucian and Ace fought some chimpanzees at the arena, and made a decent sum. Kregsmal was sorely jealous when he learned of this. He wants to try his hand at a bit of wrestling.

Unfortunately, there was no time for arena antics, even after his release from the stocks. Because Father Dumas had a pressing job for us – we had to investigate the so-called Witches’ Tomb, outside the city. The resting places of several women executed for witchcraft several years back… and a potential site of necromantic nastiness.

Cue, party expedition. First off, we ran into a collection of frog people with spears. They weren’t immediately attacking us, so Kregsmal picked one up, and asked it a question. Cue fight. Oh well. Thunderwave is great for such circumstances, even if it doesn’t exactly ignore the other party members either. Ratty was knocked unconscious.

Then into the Tomb. The doors had been torn off… never a good sign. Lucian stealthed out ahead, and eventually we came across some coal deposits. Our original employer/mysterious benefactor was after coal… so much the better, I suppose, even if Grinder thought that one could mine the stuff with a sledgehammer. We also found a stray goblin, who chatted with our Alchemist, and revealed that some creepy necromantic stuff was indeed going on.

Cue combat against some skeletons. Our Elf Wild Sorcerer (replacing the Winter Elf Cleric of the same player) managed to send themselves to the Ethereal Plane after casting a cantrip. Grinder failed a Wisdom save, and got himself paralysed by a ghost. Our Alchemist was knocked down to 3 HP after being hit with an arrow. But we eventually cleared out the skeletons.. and discovered that the Witch coffins were indeed empty. Kregsmal took the opportunity of the lull in fighting to Mend and Wash (Prestidigitate) his silk shirt.

Then we ran across a large pool of water. A Giant Octopus grappled Lucian and Ace, but we disposed of that too. Grinder kept one of the tentacles, having managed to destroy the other seven.

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