Ten ways to solve the Auckland housing bubble [New Zealand politics]

Top ten ways of dealing with the Auckland housing bubble:

10. Build some new prisons in Remuera and Tamaki. Relocate the most dangerous criminals in the country to aforementioned prisons.

9. Sacrifice people to the volcano gods, in order to induce the eruption of Rangitoto Island.

8. Sell the Greater Auckland region to North Korea in return for the regime agreeing to become nuclear free like us.

7. Borrow the Doctor’s TARDIS and go back and persuade policy makers to properly regulate lending.

6. Set the place on fire. Bonus points if John Key plays the fiddle (or at least the lyre) while he watches.

5. Tell Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump that ISIS have a base on the North Shore.

4. The rest of New Zealand secedes from Auckland. Not our problem any more.

3. The Government buys up all the land in the rest of the country and will only sell it back at a price of $1 billion a hectare. Housing bubbles for everyone!

2. Replace the New Zealand dollar with bottle caps. 1 bottle cap equals $2 million.

and the number one way to deal with the Auckland housing bubble:

1. Ensure that there are jobs in regional New Zealand so that people don’t have to move to Auckland or Wellington to find a sodding job.

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