A Phuulish Fellow

Time for another Annalax/D&D 5e update. Whereas previously I have summarised three sessions of game-play, I’ve decided to slow things down a bit, to allow more detail. This was two sessions.

The first session was an important lesson in not over-thinking things. After spending an entire real-world week figuring out a strategy to get the party out of the mess on the ship, it was helpful NPCs to the rescue. But since a Total Party Kill had previously felt a real possibility, neither I nor my character were complaining.  There was also an amusing moment when Annalax (who had passed his Stress Limit) was temporarily afflicted with Masochism during the battle. Definitely a “Yes, and…?” moment, given Annalax’s sexual tastes. The other humorous anecdote? One of the attacking merfolk kept rolling 20s, and another kept rolling 1s. The party nicknamed them Chad and Dave, respectively.

However, there turned out to be one fly in the ointment. The Queen we were supposed to be visiting was a Queen of the Underwater Realm… which meant she lived 7,500 metres under the sea. In short, visiting her in our current state would mean being crushed into pudding. The one character (our Warforged Fighter) who might survive such pressures? He doesn’t have Darkvision. Because that depth is pitch-black. Our Dreamland Cat Alchemist can breathe underwater, and can see in the dark, but he’s organic, and would be squashed like the rest of us.

[Further investigation suggests our DM might have had the Queen a bit too deep. Maybe 2,500 metres, rather than 7,500 metres might have fit better? But, well, this isn’t our world, and, more importantly, Magic is a Thing.]

Anyway, a few temporary magical alterations later, Annalax was cheerfully moving around in the frigid oppressive darkness, trying to stay in the good graces of a female autocrat. Just like home for him, I suppose, only with more deep-sea snailfish and fewer spiders. He was also able to pick up a full twenty-five helpings of sea-urchin poison for his crossbow bolts. Note that he bought these, rather than stole them – Annalax’s survival instincts trump even his avarice, and when one is reliant on magic not to be crushed into pudding, one does not anger the magic-user.

We also picked up a fresh Quest. Our party needs to find Silver Keys (why, yes, the campaign is Lovecraft-themed…).

The second session was a good deal less plot focused, and a good deal more Breather Episode. Everyone was pretty much off doing their own thing, amid the hustle and bustle of an immense Dreamland city (this one above water).

I should mention at this point that Annalax’s modus operandi on arriving at a new location is to seek out the local NPC rogues. It allows the party a convenient and cheap means of accommodation, as well as on-the-ground information as to what is going on. From this point of view, Thieves Cant – the code-language of rogues – is incredibly useful as an identification tool. Guides to Fifth Edition D&D Rogues tend to be dismissive of Thieves Cant, basically considering it fluff. Needless to say, I disagree. If you want to find NPC rogues, you need Thieves Cant.

Anyway, this session Annalax busied himself with sorting out the party’s Moondust problem. You see, the party (with one exception) are not native to the Dreamland, and while Annalax himself does not dream (he’s a Drow. He trances), and neither does the party Warforged, the remainder do. Without Moondust, there is a risk that half the party will suddenly disappear back into the Waking World, leaving behind their items… along with the rest of us. Moondust itself is a consumable resource, so the supplies need to be topped up regularly.

Courtesy of Annalax’s rogue contacts (obtained via Thieves Cant), he got his hands on ninety doses of the stuff, enough to last three party members between thirty and a hundred and twenty days. Along with twenty-five gold for those of us who don’t actually need it directly. This wasn’t actually stealing either – it was just offloading the box of residual Smuggler items. Stuffed Snakes Heads and other exotic weirdness. So all in all, a good day’s work.

Notwithstanding Annalax’s usefulness to the party, there are some tensions. You see, while my character has enough cosmopolitan experiences to keep the freakier aspects of Drow culture to himself (it’s Bad for Business), he has noticed that the overworld is more than happy to engage in slavery. So he’s happy enough to talk about that aspect of the Underdark, as though he were talking about the overworld weather. Problem is, our Barbarian has had a bad experience with slavery in the past, resulting in something of a culture clash. Our Tiefling Priest tried to play peace-maker, leading to an entertaining exchange:

(Paraphrased)

• TIEFLING: I appreciate that it is part of your culture, but slavery is wrong.
• ANNALAX: But everyone practices it in the overworld too.
• TIEFLING: It’s still wrong. I’ve had family members sold into slavery myself.
• ANNALAX: I’m guessing you bought them out then?

Courtesy of the Priest’s high Charisma, and Annalax’s mediocre Wisdom, however, the Tiefling did convince Annalax to stop talking about it.

The session concluded on a cliffhanger: the party were summoned to see the city ruler. Exciting!

Last time we left our intrepid Drow Rogue, he had managed to spread the righteous ways of Lolth to a human village, and made off with a Healing Potion and a Vial of Poison. This time? Well, the plot has thickened.

You see, Annalax likes to lodge with fellow Thieves Criminals Ethically Flexible Seekers of Zero Interest Emergency Loans. It’s cheaper. And the kind Smugglers Toll-collectors of this town offered him and the party a deal: lodging in return for helping cart boxes of items through the surrounding forest. What could possibly go wrong? Well, after an encounter with one owlbear, one dryad, three pixies (who turned a Healer into a rabbit), and five blink dogs, we barely had time to grab the loot before the Summer Eladrin turned up. A party member (he who had spent a fair amount of time in cunicular form) found an escape portal, and we departed very, very quickly.

This also allowed the party to progress to Level Four. Annalax promptly grabbed the Magical Initiate feat, which has come in handy since. But I get ahead of myself. It turned out this was a portal into the Dreamworld… and we found ourselves in a large forest. Full of Zoogs, actually, though we got through via gifting them some of the drugs we’d looted from the Smugglers (why, yes, we found a fair quantity of… ethically flexible material). From there, it was up to a city. You see, the party had promised the godlike guardians of the portal that we were on our way to see the Queen of this realm. Annalax doesn’t know anything about the Dreamworld, so he just went along with it.

The stay in the city proved fruitful. Annalax got himself a shortsword (Smuggler’s stockpile), a Bag of Holding (filched), and some books on the Moon (filched), to go with his two bottles of rare wine (filched), and his laxative-infused wildberry cake (don’t ask). We were also lugging around the dead owlbear for quite some time. To unwind, Annalax also took the evening off at the Church of the Bloated Woman – a Dreamworld cult devoted to hedonism and debauchery. Not that Annalax subscribes to hedonism or debauchery. He’s not that sort of Drow. He was just after some chastisement, to set him on the straight and narrow. Ahem.

(Oh, and using a combination of Prestidigitation, Shape Water, and cocaine, he invented this world’s first iteration of Coca-Cola. He only made four gold off it, but it was fun to try).

Once past the city, the party hired an appropriately ethically flexible gentleman to arrange a ship voyage over to see the Queen of Dreamworld. Oh dear. Annalax failed a Constitution saving throw, and ended up sea-sick. Worse, he was still sea-sick (and thus at disadvantage) when magical sea-monsters turned up and attacked. Suffice to say, he did get knocked unconscious at one point – but even that was a mercy, since he was too injured to be affected by the attackers’ vicious fear spell, which screwed with nearly everyone else. The fight is still ongoing, but Annalax can report that he’s put his Magic Initiate spells to good use. Shape Water was used to rescue party members that had ended up overboard, while Fog Cloud has allowed us a safe space to regather. It has basically become a war of attrition at this point, to be continued next week.

Anyway, current stats:

Name: Annalax (Drow Rogue – Arcane Trickster – Level 4)

• STR: 9
• DEX: 20
• CON: 11
• INT: 15
• WIS: 10
• CHA: 12
• Will Power*: 10

Spells:

• Cantrips: Mage Hand, Minor Illusion, Parley*, Dancing Lights, Prestidigitation [Magical Initiate], Shape Water [Magical Initiate]
• 1st Level: Faerie Fire (innate), Disguise Self, Spider’s Kiss*, Dusk Warp,* Fog Cloud [Magical Initiate], Silent Image

*Homebrew.